Something that triggers my mind

I was talking to Ruth, a close friend of mine yesterday night. I realized i have changed a lot since last year's Raya. I used to be very patient, tolerance and nice. (at least it is what i fell) But the problem is I miss the old happy, cheerful and a nice me. I want myself back. I became very defensive since last year.

I still remember I don't hate anyone during my Form 6 days. I love being with my friends. I love school but not class. Haha~ And I still remember one thing, I used to pray to God every single moment back then. I always seek for his guidance and pray for a wisdom mind and good heart.Things change when I enter varsity. I hardly pray. (stupid me right.)

But not now, I hate people who are trying to destroy my life. I become very defensive whenever people don't agree on what doing. I don't care what people say, even though I know they are trying to help me. It is because I know deep down in my heart, nothing's gonna change even thou I'm being nice.



Anyway, Ruth shared a story that is very meaningful to her, apparently, it is also very meaningful to me. And I wanna share it with you all. It is a little story from a book.

story on Stephanie Canfield,
When I was in junior high. I made a commitment to God, my parents, and myself to stay sexually pure until marriage. I made a list of character qualities I wanted in my husband. As time went on I thought I must have set my expectations too high. I didn't know any guys who had a same standards I did. Some of my friends told me this guy didn't exist!


During my senior year of high school I almost gave up on my dream to find him. I started to believe it could never happen, so I rushed ahead of God and caved into the pressure to begin a relationship (against my parents' advice). I soon experienced consequences-in my relationship with God, my friends, and my parents. God convicted me, and I surrendered my future to Him once again.


After high school I met a guy who became a good friend. Jeremiah had made a commitment not to kiss a girl until his wedding day. As our friendship grew, I came to realized he had the qualities I'd written on my list many years before. Imagine that - he did exist!


He asked to date me with the intention of marriage. With my parents' full support and peace from God we carefully began a relationship.


Our first kiss was on our wedding day, and it was so special! Waiting to express our love physically laid a strong foundation of trust for our marriage.


I wish I wouldn't have listened to my friends in believing that my standards were impossible and that i should just date. God had someone saved for me, and in His perfect timing He brought him along. I discovered that the way of purity is far better even through it required patience and a willingness to go against the flow. The outcome is worth every sacrifice and makes marriage all the sweeter.




Stephanie's husband, Jeremiah, agrees:


I told God when I was younger that I would lock all my emotions and desires to win a lady's heart in a box and that I would give Him the Key. I said i wanted Him to open this box in my heart when the right one came along. It was such a joy and thrill to give everything to Stephanie. I don't regret for one moment not "dating around." I had no past relationship scars to tell my wife about. I was saving myself for her alone.


I now get to spend the rest of my life pouring out my love on a women who has my whole heart and affection.




After reading it, I felt that I'm not alone and I'm proud of my commitment even thou my love of my life don't seem to appreciate it. Maybe I had rush everything and I think ahead of God. I had learnt my lesson.
Scar is always remind as one and it's forever. But I'm using concealer to cover it. Well, life is not that perfect as I think.
As least I know I'm blessed with many awesome people in my life. And you know who you are =)

1Cr 10:13

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

I believe everything happen with a purpose, whether it is good or bad. They are here to shape a better Carey, me.